


And So It Begins

by ALilyPea (alilypea)



Series: The Spies Who Loved Us [1]
Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-11
Updated: 2016-10-31
Packaged: 2018-05-13 04:04:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 11
Words: 16,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5694055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alilypea/pseuds/ALilyPea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eggsy Unwin is a young man set down a certain path, due to his own decisions and those of his mother. One night he makes a deadly mistake, after a horrific misstep and a sort of "guardian angel" appears in the guise of a man named after a famous wizard, who will try to guide him through life as best he can.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is part of a NanoWriMo which started as Hartwin but became something more. This is part one in a series I like to call "The Spies Who Loved Us". I hope you will enjoy it and be patient because this is a super slow burn.

Eggsy gripped the phone tightly, hands covered in blood and God knows what else. His breathing was harsh even to his own ears. "Oh god, oh god," he fumbled with the medal he was holding, dropping it several times before he managed to pick it up. He had made a terrible mistake. 

He never should’ve listened to Dean, he never should’ve agreed to work for him. He never should've taken the deal he'd been given.

His legs ached and his head pounded as he tried to figure out what it was he was going to say, what it was that he was going to do.

“Customer complaints, how may I help you?” A polite voice said.

Eggsy froze, wanting to scream in frustration. He’d gotten the wrong number. He double checked what it said on the screen and frowned.

“My name’s Eggsy Unwin. Sorry Gary Unwin and I’m up shit creek,” He babbled into the phone, near hysterical. “I’m in a warehouse and my mum said to call this number if I ever needed help but I think she was foolin’ me.”

“I’m sorry sir, you have the wrong number.”

Eggsy swore, pressing the receiver to his head for a moment he closed his eyes and resisted the urge to weep.

“Oh uhm,” he decided it was a last ditch effort. “Oxford’s not brogues?”

“Your complaint has been duly notes and we hope we’ve not lost you as a loyal customer.” The voice said, cold tone falling away, sounding almost sympathetic before the line disconnected.

“Shit,” Eggsy muttered, slamming the phone down on the receiver as a sob tore itself from his throat. “I never meant to, I never meant to do this.”

He walked back to the body, and began dragging it across the floor of the warehouse to where the dirt floor began. He grunted as he did so, resisting the urge to scream in frustration. 

It felt like it took hours, his shoulders aching and his back hurting. The sobs had stopped, leaving him with a sore throat and swollen eyes. He couldn’t help but think back on the moment this all had started.

***

_Desperation had brought Eggsy to that moment, after all, and it wasn’t one that he liked to think of._

_It hadn’t been a dark and stormy night in the movies. In fact it’d been hot as hell when he pulled out the medal and called for help._

_Dean had tied a couple on, of course, to get out of the heat and stumbled home from the pub. It wasn’t that Eggsy had done anything wrong that night, or any other night. He was just the first person Dean had seen since coming home, sitting on the couch with Jamal._

_“Go home,” Eggsy had told Jamal, who’d looked like he wanted to protest. “Just go, trust me, I’ll be by later, I’ll be fine, all right, bruv?”_

_“Okay, you need anything you gimme a call though yeah?” Jamal asked as he skirted around Dean who had headed immediately for the fridge._

_“Hey, Dean,” Eggsy began. “Why don’t you have a sit down?” He hated himself for this, for bowing and scraping but it beat the next wound that would be coming to him and the next explanation he’d have to give._

_“Why don’t you contribute to this house? Sitting on your arse, doing nothing all the time. You’re lucky your mother’s out with the girls and not here to see how fucking pathetic her boy is though I’m tempted to show her,” Dean growled._

_“Look, guv, I don’t know what you’re talking about. I just got home from work, I put the money I made in the jar,” Eggsy resisted the urge to yelp when Dean cuffed him upside the head, one of his rings catching his ear._

_“You’re going to do a lot more than some job at a bloody music store, you’re gonna work for me, boy and you’re not going to say a damn thing about it, you got me?” Dean asked, his knife appearing rather and causing Eggsy to shiver._

_He’d always hated knives, or he had since Dean had came into their lives. Though the man had never actually sliced him open the threat always seemed to be just enough to get him._

_“What do you want me to do?” Eggsy asked, knowing if he refused outright it would be his mother who would get it next._

_“You’re going to start moving packages for me, you got me boy? Anything I say needs to be somewhere you’ll take it and get the payment for it,” Dean murmured. “Or your darling mum will have to deal with more than just me, ya get me?”_

_Eggsy closed his eyes, a rage he was all too familiar with flooding through him. He wanted to hit Dean, for even suggesting it. He wanted to hurt him just the way he had been hurting Eggsy and his mum for years._

_“I got you,” he struggled to get the words out, biting his bottom lip hard. “When do you want me to start?”_

_“Now, you’ll start for me now, take this,” Dean shoved a square package into his arms. “Address is on the package, don’t get caught or we won’t bail you out.”_

_Eggsy fumbled with the package, his fingers slick with sweat he nodded. “I won’t, Dean, promise.” He headed for the door at a jog, leaping over the wall instead of going for the stairs he grabbed his bike and took off._

_He pedalled like he was going to drop dead at any minute, his lungs burning and his legs aching as he fought to get to the address that Dean had given him. The package felt like it was burning a whole through his backpack and into his skin._

_He stumbled off the bike when it stopped rolling and made his way into the building._

_What he saw there shocked him._

_A woman laying in the stairwell, a needle sticking out of her arm and his eyes wide, the whites showing far too much._

_“Oh god,” he whispered knowing that he was in a little bit too deep with this. He made his way up the stairs ignoring the fact that he wanted to vomit._

_He ran his fingers through his hair and entered the room with a soft knock on the door. “I’m here to deliver this.”_

_The man was large, a bit smelly and if he was honest  terrifying to him._

_“You Dean’s kid?”_

_“No ‘m not his, I mean he’s married to my mum,” he explained, stammering a little bit he held the package in his hands._

_The man laughed, shaking his head in amusement. “I wouldn’t want to admit to being his kid either, he’s an asshole. How about you do me a couple favours on the side? I can pay you well.”_

_Eggsy tried to ignore his own interest but money meant that he could get his mum and himself out of the estates sooner rather than later. He could get away from Dean. And working for this man might mean that he could piss Dean off and that did always seem to be a bonus._

_"I'd be glad to help you out, as long as Dean don't have to know at first?"_

_The man nodded and handed him over some money, more than what the package he had given him was worth. "Sounds good to me, use this phone only," he explained, handing it to him. "I'll take care of you kid as long as you take care of me."_

_"In what way?" Eggsy asked, already suspicious of this man._

_"Not in that kinda way kid," The man shook his head, and Eggsy wondered how on Earth Dean had gotten himself involved with an American in the first place. It was a bit odd._

_"Good, so you'll call me when you need something from me?" Eggsy asked him, unsure about this but he knew he needed to get out from under Dean's thumb and if this was how he was going to do it then so be it._

_"I will, and I expect you to answer, you hear me?"_

_Eggsy nodded his head, and smiled a little bit even as the nerves he was feeling turned his stomach. "I'll answer I promise."_

_“Good boy, my name is Kevin, and that’s the only name you’ll call me by, understood?”_

_Eggsy nodded his head. “Do you need anything right now?”_

_“Not at all, I need you to just keep an eye and ear out for me,” Kevin told him, clapping him on the shoulder._

_Eggsy cringed away from him and then turned away, walking out of the building and to his bike. “Fuck,” he murmured, clutching the medal around his neck he wondered if now was the time to call for help but decided not to._

_He found himself at the Black Prince within a half hour._

_Jamal waved him over to a booth immediately, worry all over his face as he did so he was  concerned for his friend._

_“Are you okay? I shouldn’t have left you, Jesus, son look at your neck,” he babbled almost fluttering around his best friend as Ryan sat across from him frowning himself._

_“I’m fine, I got out of it by doing him a favour,” Eggsy slid into the booth next to Jamal and rubbed his hand over his face. “But I think I’ve gotten myself in a little too deep,” he admitted, sighing._

_“What did you do?” Ryan asked finally._

_“I can’t say, let’s just say I offered to help out someone worse than Dean to get back at him,” Eggsy responded. “I need a pint.”_

_“C’mon Eggs, tell us what’s going on we want to help,” Jamal grabbed his arm._

_Eggsy turned and shook his head, almost glaring at his best friend. “No, you’re not helping me with this. I know we’ve been together through thick and thick but this time you can’t help me and I need you to promise not to try, do you understand?”_

_Jamal paused, sharing a look with Ryan the two of them finally nodded their heads though they were both still worried about Eggsy and whatever it was he could possibly be into._

_“Yeah mate, but if you need us,” Jamal led, glancing at Ryan then pasting a smile on his face for Eggsy._

_“You know where to find us,” Ryan raised his fist in the air. “Now go get yourself a drink.”_

_Eggsy nodded his head and made his way to the bar, the whole world feeling almost dizzying and every step making him feel like his shoes were filled with lead._

_He only hoped that he wouldn’t end up dead in an alleyway somewhere._

***

“Lad, lad, what’ve you gotten yourself into?” A voice came behind him, startling him he turned and swung the shovel.

The man, tall, almost lanky and bald grabbed the shovel from him before it could even get close to hitting him. “You called our line for help,” he said, in a softer voice. “I’m here to help, as repayment.”

“Y-You knew my father?” Eggsy rubbed at his eyes, not caring that his face was dirty and he looked a terrible mess.

After all it wasn’t like he was going to look good when he’d just murdered a drug dealer/pedophile who was also racist. And he'd get killed by his step-dad when he got home as well. 

“I did,” The man nodded. “Eggsy is it? Or Gary? Which do you prefer?”

“Eggsy,” He hugged himself, rocking on his heels as he watched the man walk toward the body and kneel down to expect it. “I prefer Eggsy, it’s what he called me.”

“I remember, he talked about you quite a bit,” The man responded. “You may call me Merlin.”

“What, like the wizard?” Eggsy asked, and at any other time he would’ve scoffed at such a silly sounding name, but the man had appeared out of nowhere and didn’t appear to be calling the authorities.

“Yes, like the wizard, I have a way with things, with situations like this that can make it seem like magic, it was why I was sent here. You were seen on CCTV footage, after all, entering this warehouse,” Merlin commented, straightening up.

“Shit, fuck, I didn’t even…fucking cameras everywhere,” Eggsy cursed, covering his face with his hands. He was going to prison, he wouldn’t get out anytime soon. His mother would never speak to him again.

“The footage has been erased lad, now why don’t you take a seat and we’ll discuss what happened here? Then maybe I can help you a little bit more than this,” Merlin sauntered over to a rotted out bench and perched on it, staring at the dead body.

“It all started when my dad died,” Eggsy whispered, hating immediately the look of guilt cast over the older man’s face. There was something about him that he could just trust immediately. “It wasn’t your fault,” he murmured, even though he didn’t know the truth. No one knew the truth about how his father had died, except this man.

But suddenly he didn’t even care to know.

“Thank you for saying so Eggsy,” Merlin told him. “One day you will know the truth, I promise you that.”

Eggsy breathed a sigh of relief, closing his eyes he nodded his head. “If I live to know it.”

“You will, lad, I promise,” Merlin responded. “Now tell me your story, so I know I haven’t made a grave mistake in coming here.”

“My mum was a wreck then, she didn’t know how to live without him, even when he was gone,” Eggsy explained. “She used to drink a little bit, and when I was about 13 she met Dean.”

“Dean Anthony Baker, correct?” Merlin’s voice was calm, and a bit calculating.

Eggsy wondered if his stepfather was already dead. If he wasn’t he could tell just by looking at Merlin that he would be soon.

Some part of him wondered why he hadn’t called that number earlier.

Maybe then he wouldn’t even be in this mess.

“That’s him, he told me if I didn’t start helping him out more, he would hurt me, and kill her,” Eggsy explained looking at his hands. “If I hadn’t been such a fucking coward this never would’ve happened,” he murmured.

“Don’t blame yourself. You were a child when he came into your life, he had considerable power over you then but that does not mean he needs to have power over you now. This is the moment that you get to make the decision about what you want in life. Do you want more of this or do you want something else?” Merlin asked him, wondering if Eggsy would even be able to figure out what it was that he was offering him.

“I don’t want this anymore. I don’t want blood on my hands and I’ve got so much of it already that I don’t know what I’m going to do,” Eggsy said, his hands shaking as he gestured to the man lying on the ground. “He was selling it to kids, and...doing other stuff...” he explained. “I couldn’t…I mean fucking kids…kids whose parents don’t care about them enough just like…”

“Like your mum, like Dean,” Merlin said softly.

“No, my mum, she loves me, she loves me,” Eggsy insisted, not wanting to hear anything else. She loved him of course. 

But maybe not more than she loved booze. Maybe not more than she loved Dean.

And that killed something inside of him, gradually until he would do anything he could to get approval from someone. Even if it was someone like Dean.

“I don’t doubt she does, you seem likeable. You’re loyal, hardworking, and determined, now what kind of life is it you’re wanting?” Merlin asked, knowing he wouldn’t get a perfect answer, but hoping that he would get the right one.

“I don’t want this life, not anymore,” Eggsy whispered to him, closing his eyes.“I want something better than this, I promise I’ll never run drugs again, even if I’m desperate for money, I’ll do whatever I can.”

Merlin nodded, “That’s all I need to hear, I am going to send you to a flat, not back to the estates for now. I will clean up as much of the mess as I can. Take this mobile but do not make calls with it, I will call you.”

Eggsy nodded, taking the handkerchief he wiped at his face and hands. "I didn’t mean to kill him, you understand that right?”

“I understand, you don’t have it in you to just be a killer,” Merlin responded, clapping him on the shoulder. “There’s a cab waiting out that exit for you.”

Eggsy stood up and fled to the cab, getting in he was so glad when it took him away.


	2. Chapter One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin vows to take care of Eggsy, feeling he'd failed his father.

Merlin stood outside the flat, having texted Eggsy to open the door when he knocked he waited impatiently but the boy did not come. He was worried ,wondering if he had been incorrect in assuming that the boy would do anything to listen to him. He had never met him before after all, and the records he had found on Eggsy seemed to hint towards a distrust of authority figures.

“Oh bugger,” Merlin commented lightly, opening the door he walked in, spotting a takeaway container of fish and chips that had definitely been ravished. He knew more than most that killing people did work up an appetite, no matter how experienced you were at it.

He walked through the flat, making sure that there was nothing out of place, no struggle.

Opening the door the bedroom he let out a soft sigh as he saw Eggsy sprawled out on top of the sheets, unchanged and still wearing his sneakers.

“Oh dear boy,” he shook his head with a soft sigh and walked over, getting the shoes off first, and managing the sweater he decided since the boy was in trackies that he could remain in those and pulled the blankets up over him. “I’m sorry we failed your father, but I’m going to make sure that I don’t fail you.”

Eggsy murmured, and rolled onto his stomach stretching out a little bit he seemed worried even in sleep.

Merlin hung up the jacket and tucked the shoes under the edge of the bed before he made his wait back to the sitting room and poured himself a drink before settling in on the couch. His friends would laugh if they saw him, so concerned over a young man when he’d always professed that youth was largely wasted on the young and that the little beggars hardly deserved a minute.

***

Eggsy woke up in the morning, groaning as the sun shone through the bedroom window into his eyes he tried to shield them. He coughed and groaned as he sat up, sniffing the air he could smell bacon and hummed.

Realizing he wasn't alone he bolted out of bed and toward the kitchen, surprised to see the man from the night before standing there.

“Ah there you are Eggsy, I'm making breakfast, go get washed up and we’ll have a little chat.”

Eggsy moved to obey, pausing in the doorway he frowned slightly wondering if this type of chat would end in his life being forfeit. He didn’t think so though, the man would not have made all the effort he did just to kill him, would he? Unless he was one of them serial killers.

“Are you alright?” And that sounded like genuine concern.

“I’m fine, sorry, yeah, will it wait till I’ve showered? I’m a bit…gross,” Eggsy explained.

Merlin nodded his head, “There’s some spare clothes in the closet that might fit you, I'll put the bacon in the microwave to keep it warm.”

“Great, thanks.”

“How did my father die?” Eggsy asked him as they sat at the table the next morning, breakfast heaped up between the two of them.

“I can’t tell you about the mission, it was classified,” Merlin responded, unsurprised to hear that question. He knew the lad would question it eventually, especially when he’d mentioned being there the night before.

“I’m not asking you to tell me what the mission objective was, or who else was there with you, or even where you were. I just want to know what my dad did that ended up killing, and I don’t think that’s really too much to ask, do you?” Eggsy responded in a level voice, a slight edge to the expression on his face that made Merlin wonder if he would end up coaxing him through some sort of nervous breakdown which he was not equipped to deal with even from his closest friends.

“He jumped on a grenade,” Merlin replied, before he spooned a forkful of scrambled eggs into himself.

“Will you get hurt?” Eggsy asked, an undercurrent of worry in his voice as he looked at Merlin. “You look fit. Are you still in active service?” He wondered why he felt so attached, and if he would always form attachments quickly to people he had only just met.

He hoped not as it made him feel a little bit creepy. But this was a man who knew his father, this was a man who his father had told stories to.

“I am still in service,” Merlin confirmed, if that’s what he could call Kingsman. They were in service to her Majesty, as well as the public but of course no one was allowed to know that so he tried to keep his job description as diplomatic as possible. “I am though I'm more behind the scenes. It happens to us all when we get on in age.”

Eggsy nodded his head, breathing out a sigh of relief. “What did you do with the body?”

Merlin shook his head, “I can’t tell you that, just know that he was taken care of and that Dean should not be a problem for you anytime soon. I do however suggest you take a few days before returning home.”

“But my mum,” Eggsy protested only to be cut off.

“No, because if you go there now you’re liable to tell her what happened, Eggsy. She doesn’t need to know, just like she doesn’t need to know the circumstances in which your father saved my life and the lives of his team,” Merlin explained to him. “She does not need to think that she has pushed two of the most important men in her life to make these sacrifices for her.”

Eggsy nodded his head, wondering if he was being experimented on psychologically because while he agreed he seemed to only agree because it was what Merlin wanted him to do.

“I’ll stay away then but I need something to do, I’ll go mad in here if I have to stay here that whole time, and you can’t just hold me prisoner.”

Merlin rolled his eyes. Youth did have the advantage of being able to be oh so dramatic. Though he supposed it wasn’t just an opportunity of youth, as his best friend had a bit of that habit in himself as well.

God he could only hope these two would never meet.

“Will this be the last time I see you?” Eggsy asked him, as he played with the eggs on his plate, unwilling to look up at him.

“I dare say I have failed you quite a bit Eggsy, especially after promising your father that I would help look after you in the event of his death,” Merlin pushed the medal that Eggsy had left at the payphone the night before across to him. “Consider me your genie, the number will remain in tact for two more emergency phone calls.”

“I suppose you’ll be wanting the cell back,” Eggsy pulled it out of his pocket and set it on the table in offer.

“No, keep the mobile,” Merlin waved a hand. “Consider that your way to contact me without there being an emergency.”

“Really?” Eggsy asked.

“Honestly, Eggsy, I know not many other adults have taken an interest in your life but that doesn’t mean I am going to do the same, I intend on sticking around to see what kind of man you have become and what kind of man you will become in the future,” Merlin responded.

Eggsy smiled a little bit and dug into his breakfast, eating it voraciously he felt like there was a weight lifted off of his shoulders because he didn’t have to worry as much as he had before.

“Now what is this thing I hear your quite good at? Parkour? Where I come from they just call it running for your life mixed with gymnastics,” Merlin commented, a small smile growing on his lips when Eggsy let out a laugh.

“I’ll send you a video of it, you’ll think it’s a riot, I promise.”

***

“Bloody brilliant,” Merlin muttered to himself as he watched the video that Eggsy had taken from different angles.

He knew the Go Pro style camera he’d given the boy for his birthday was a wise investment. He had Eggsy’s view in a small window on his screen followed by Jamal's as he could see the two of them jumping, swinging and generally causing gymnastic like mayhem around the city.

He wondered if he should say anything, about the dangers of it all, about how he could possibly get himself hurt, or worse, killed in doing this.

Watching he turned down the volume as Eggsy whooped with joy and knew that he would do no such thing.

It was one thing to solve all the boys problems and try and make them go away, which was worrying in itself because he didn’t typically care for people easily but now here he was trying to take something that gave Eggsy joy away from him like some overbearing helicopter parent.

And to think, he’d once thought of suggesting him as a candidate for Kingsman.

He had no doubt that Eggsy had the potential for it, and would even be quite good at it, but there was just something things in his world that he did not want to touch Eggsy.

And Chester King was one of them. 


	3. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nightmares plague Eggsy, and he has no one to talk to but Merlin. His mother is spiralling out of control, and he isn't sure what to do.

_Eggsy closed his eyes, trying breathe but the man on top of him was far too heavy and his chest tightened. He didn’t want to die like this, at the hands of some child killer. He opened his eyes, glanced around and reached for the nearest brick he could find, bringing it down on the man’s head with a rather satisfying crunch.“Oh god,” he murmured, when he realized the man’s eyes were staring sightlessly back into his. “Oh god oh god.”_

_He pushed the man off him and scrambled away, pressing his back against the post he stared at the body, horrified._

_“I killed someone, I killed someone, oh god,” he murmured, gripping his chest his eyes wide when he felt the hardness of the medal dig into his hand._

_He got up and bolted for the payphone hoping against all hope that it was working. He kept running, and running but he could never get there._

Eggsy awoke, not for the first time with a scream on his lips and his heart pounding in fear. He closed his eyes and pressed his hand to them, rolling over and then back again just once in an almost smooth rocking motion.

It was hard, dealing with what he’d done, what he’d been ready to do just to rid his life of Dean.

“Jesus,” he murmured, shaking his head he swiped at his eyes, spotting the cell phone lying on the table he debated on using it before shaking his head once more.

He didn’t want to bother Merlin, not when the man had been so good to him, and not this late at night.

He glanced over again at the phone just in time to see the screen light up with a text message. He grabbed for it, and looked at the screen.

_Merlin: How are you doing?_

Eggsy paused for a moment, biting his bottom lip he tried to figure out what he would say.

_Eggsy: I would be doing better if the nightmares would stop._

_Merlin: I wish you’d told me you were still having them. And also, thank you for the proper sentences this time._

Eggsy laughed, remembering how their first few conversations via text had done. Jumbled text speak which seemed to incense Merlin, which had amused Eggsy.

_Eggsy: What could you do? You already saved me from going in, I wasn’t gonna whinge at you because of some bad dreams._

He waited for the next text, jumping a little bit when the phone rang he pressed it against his ear and made a grumbling noise before speaking properly. “Hello?”

“You can whinge at me about anything that requires it, nightmares are hard,” Merlin chastised him in a gentle tone that found Eggsy feeling soothed almost immediately.

Eggsy hummed softly into the phone. “Did you like the video that I sent you?” He asked him.

“From anyone else that might sound rather lewd,” Merlin responded, chuckling softly in the phone and making him feel warm all over.

If this had been another time he could find himself becoming attracted to Merlin. There was something elegant about the way in which the Scotsman handled himself, and it was also intimidating.

There was something strangely sexy about him, and he wondered if Merlin knew how he felt about him.

“I can be really lewd if you want me to,” Eggsy responded softly, grinning to himself when all Merlin did was make a soft negative noise. “So what did you think? Did you like it?”

“I did, you’re rather talented, Eggsy, I think it’s a bit of a shame you didn’t continue on in gymnastics,” Merlin commented lightly, not sure how much that would hurt Eggsy to think about.

“I kind of wish I had, I mean I could’ve been in the Olympics and all that, representing the UK on the world’s stage but I think in a way it’s just another kind of misery, not any better than my life turned out to be or any less.” He ran his fingers through his hair.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Merlin asked in an almost conversational tone, allowing Eggsy to trust him almost immediately.

“Well, it was…a bit rough you know, because the practice hours were long so you’d be up at 3 am in the morning just to have a go at the gym,” Eggsy explained. “And my mum was dead set on me becoming something,” he added further.

“I think every mother wants her child to become something,” Merlin responded. “For example my mother wanted me to become a solicitor.”

“I think you would kick some serious ass in the court room,” Eggsy responded, nibbling on his bottom lip. “It was the food that got me, we weren’t able to get a lot of food then cause we weren’t doing particularly well, before the money from dad’s estate came in and then they had this strict diet, where we could only eat certain things and it was just awful I couldn’t stomach a lot of the food and I began losing weight but instead of being worried about it, most people praised it."

Merlin made a soft disgusted noise. “That’s awful Eggsy, I’m sorry you had to go through that. Did it make you happy?”

“Yeah it did, for a while, but there was some things I just didn’t like but it was a way to forget and now parkour is a way for me to forget.”

“What a way to, you were almost elegant, Eggsy, it was lovely.”

Eggsy stifled a yawn, feeling himself puff up with pride the slightest bit. “Thank you, Merlin, I think I can sleep now.”

“Good, I’m going to get back to work,” Merlin told him, not sounding the least bit put out.

“Thank you, good night Merlin and you rest too.”

“Anytime, lad.”

***

Eggsy woke up early the next morning to banging in the kitchen and shifted around, groaninghe shoved himself out of bed and stumbled into the bathroom before walking into the kitchen.

"What is it? What's going on mum?" He asked her, frowning the slightest bit he watched the way she was moving around and realized that she was completely pissed.

Michelle turned to look at him, "You did this, you did it."

"What did I do? I don't understand what I could've done, mum, I've been asleep. Do you want me to make you breakfast?" Eggsy reached out to guide her away from the stove, not wanting her to hurt herself.

Michelle slapped his hand away, and even though it didn't hurt a single bit there was something that ached within him at the forceful contact.

"You did this, we have no food, no bloody money Eggsy and it's all your fault."

Eggsy stepped back, raising his hands he tried not to let her words get to him, understanding that she was drunk and probably frustrated and yes, still missing Dean even though he hated that she'd become attached to him in the first place.

"Mum, I didn't do anything, Dean got caught."

"Damn right you didn't do anything, you didn't protect this family, you don't provide for this family, what kind of son are you? What good are you?"

Eggsy sucked in a deep breath and closed his eyes, remembering Merlin's encouraging words, words he'd fought to live by lately.

He jerked his head when she slapped him, and opened his eyes in shock to stare at her.

"Fine, I'll get you money," he bit out through gritted teeth. "But don't you ever touch me again, or I'm gone."

Michelle's eyes widened as though she realized what a horrible mistake she'd made and reached out to touch him.

"Oh Eggsy, Eggsy baby, I'm sorry."

"Just don't...I'll be back," Eggsy stormed into the bedroom and got dressed properly, and quickly before leaving the house.

 


	4. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eggsy makes some missteps and Merlin tries to help him clean himself up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: Drug use, alcoholism

 

“What the bloody fuck do you think you’re doing with your life?” Merlin spat, glaring down at Eggsy from where he lay, sprawled on the floor of Merlin’s flat, drunk and high out of his mind.

“Just tryna…just…” Eggsy’s words slurred together and he tried to figure out what it was he wanted to say or which way was up.

“You are such…” Merlin bit out the words, and visibly restrained himself, hooking his fingers together behind his neck he closed his eyes and sucked in a deep breath. He wouldn’t lose his temper, he couldn’t lose his temper because even though the boy was behaving like an idiot he didn’t deserve the same treatment from him he’d also gotten from his stepfather.

“I’m such what?” Eggsy stumbled to his feet, leaning in close he smiled at Merlin and licked his lips. “Do you want me, Merlin? There are men who do you know, powerful men, men with money. It’s a great way to get a bit of dosh.”

“I realize that you come from a certain…station,” Merlin tried to figure out the best way in which to approach this matter with Eggsy.

“I’m poor, my mum’s poor, my dad was poor, left us with nothing after he was killed and we don’t even know how he was killed,” Eggsy responded, barely able to stand. “And Dean…Dean was what was keeping food on the table,” he laughed, almost hunching over with it.

Merlin moved forward, unable to help himself he moved with the speed of his anger he grabbed Eggsy by the back of the neck and squeezed just lightly, before resting his hand on the other man’s shoulder and squeezing a bit harder to get him propelled toward the bathroom.

“Here is what we’re going to do,” He said softly, fighting to keep his voice level. “We’re going to get you washed up, and then we’ll get you put in bed and you and I can discuss what we’re going to do, so you don’t have to do this any longer.”

He had worried of course. He had worried that he had left Eggsy for too long to deal with things after that night in the warehouse. He’d tried to keep up, almost obsessively kept up with Eggsy but one mission abroad and he’d returned to find the boy falling apart.

Eggsy nodded his head, “You gonna wash me? ‘M not a little boy,” he tugged his arm out of Merlin’s hold.

Merlin sighed softly. “Regardless, you’re someone’s boy and you need caring for, I don’t care how old you are, your father would care.”

“Well he can’t care can he?” Eggsy asked him, almost spitting the words out. “He’s dead!”

Merlin hummed in agreement, working on getting him into the bathroom he nabbed the stool he used when he was injured and set it in the shower. “Here, shower, don’t try and get out by yourself.”

Eggsy nodded drunkenly, and stripped out of his clothing. Merlin closed the door softly behind him once he heard the shower start up and hoped that the young man would not crack his own skull open.

He stood by the guest bed about a half hour later, looking down at the young man as he slept, positioning a glass of water on the bedside table as well as readying a trash can incase he woke up ill. He readied the syringe he had and took some blood intending on analyzing it to figure out what exactly Eggsy had taken.

“You make it so easy to care,” he told Eggsy, without even a trace of sarcasm. There was something vulnerable about Eggsy, underneath all the posturing and toughness.

Eggsy mumbled something into the pillow as he rolled onto his stomach, completely sacked out in a pair of Merlin’s pyjama pants.

***

“What did you do to me?” Eggsy asked, horrified the next morning when he awoke to find an IV in his arm. “What the bloody fuck?”

Merlin chuckled softly, folding his paper and setting it aside. “I noticed you were rather dehydrated after I ran some tests on you.”

Eggsy looked at him, “Are you fucking kidding me? You ran tests on me while I was sleeping ,that is just…you’re not even a doctor.”

“Actually I am, and you were quite intoxicated, and I did not know what else you had taken. The combination was quite deadly, I would not appreciate the opportunity to meet your mother for the first time when I had to tell her that his son had died because he was a fucking idiot,” Merlin’s voice was firm and his eyes were cold enough that Eggsy found himself shrinking back on the bed.

Eggsy closed his eyes and reached up to rub his hands over them for a moment he sucked in a deep breath of air and tried to figure out what it was exactly that he would do for money.

"I need to do something, I don't know...I don't know how I'm supposed to help her."

Merlin let out a soft sigh, and shook his head from side to side, "I wish you wouldn't do what you're doing. I wish I could give you a job where I work but...you deserve a better life."

Eggsy laughed softly, "A better life that what I have? Because your life appears to be so rough."

Merlin smiled bitterly, no humour in the way that he looked at Eggsy. "It's rougher than it appears, I fear. And you told me you weren't interested in killing."

Eggsy swallowed heavily, understanding he was in a considerably vulnerable position he wasn't even sure what he was supposed to do at this point. Merlin was a killer.

He'd suspected it, of course. And doubted it was murder, or at least not unsanctioned Merlin as the other man had been military and in some ways appeared to still be so.

"I would never hurt you, though, Eggsy, even if ordered to," Merlin told him, clearing his throat as he stood up properly and pulled the blankets up around him before inspecting the IV site and removing it quickly and efficiently. "You're looking better hydrated, but you still need more sleep. I've put your phone there so you can let your mother know you're okay, and please, do text me if you need me."

Eggsy glanced at him in surprise, not so sure where those words had come from. "Even if ordered to?"

Merlin smiled a little, and once again there was no humour to it. "Sometimes men in service are told to do things they would prefer not to do, because they are her Majesty's weapons. And sometimes, men in service form affections and attachments and they supersede their loyalties."

"You're telling me, Queen Bess herself could order you to kill me and you still wouldn't do it?" Eggsy asked him, almost baffled.

Merlin nodded his head, and bit his bottom lip for a moment before approaching the door. "That is precisely what I'm saying."


	5. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eggsy finds a new career for himself, and Merlin disapproves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: Sex trade

Eggsy grimaced to himself as he walked back into the flat he shared with his mum, a bit better than the council estates he'd been living in before. His muscles ached and he didn't even want to think about what was on his clothing.

He felt gross, but the cash in his pocket, and some deposited in his bank account was well worth it for him, even if he was doing things he'd never thought he would do.

He could only imagine what it was that Merlin could be thinking about this. If he knew.

He always knew. The man had been so damn disappointed in him for the drug running, he could only imagine how he'd feel about the prostitution.

"There he is," Jamal crowed, standing up from the couch and smiling at him. "This is a nice place you've got here for yourself and your mum, bruv, step up from the estates."

Eggsy jumped slightly, then managed to remember to smile at his two best friends. After all it wasn't their fault he had to do what he had to do in order to make ends meet. They didn't even know about it.

"Mum let you in?' He asked instead, pulling off his coat quickly, and balling it up he hugged it to his stomach and groin, in case they came closer. 

Ryan nodded his head, taking a drink from his beer as he glanced from the television back to Eggsy. 

"Hope you don't mind," he said, the quieter of his two friends.

Eggsy shook his head, "I was workin' all night though, bruvs, do you mind if I slip off to shower first?" 

"Oh no, go ahead," Jamal gestured, grinning at him. "We'll just be here, eating your crisps and watchin' your TV, we were at the pub this morning for a bit of brek but decided to come here to see how you were doin."

Eggsy nodded and smiled at them both, he was actually glad to see them, and would probably be happier about it once clean. He nodded to them both and headed into his room to grab some clothes to change into, dumping his dirty stuff into the hamper before he slipped into the bathroom.

Jamal turned to Ryan as they sat on the couch, frowning slightly. "You're right, something not on is going on. I'll nab his phone."

Ryan nodded, a guilty expression on his face. 

Neither of them wanted to hurt their friend, but they were both worried about him, especially since his mother actually seemed to be worried about him as well, though not enough to be here herself. 

***

"Your friends seem to think that I am your drug dealer, or some other odd nonsense," Merlin told Eggsy as he slipped into the seat across from him at the pub and arched an eyebrow finely. "You call me too often, in their minds."

Eggsy managed a weak smile even as his exhaustion tugged at him and demanded that he get some sleep and soon. He'd hoped to have another night out so he wouldn't have to work for a little while because he'd be able to pay two months rent and then some but he wasn't so sure he would be able to do it. 

"Sorry about that, guv, I don't know why they even bothered calling you. I hope they didn't say anything too bad to ya."

Merlin smiled a little bit. "After I explained to them I was a close friend of your father they were quite content to stop passing judgment on me. Apparently you've spread word of his legacy quite well." 

Eggsy couldn't help but straighten up the slightest bit and give his head a nod as he did try to do the best for his father's memory as he could, even if he, himself was not living up to expectation.

"Good, I'm glad, don't want them to bug you too much." 

"They weren't bugging me too much at all, they were very worried about you," Merlin explained to him, keeping his voice low.

Eggsy tensed up, unsure what it was he was supposed to say, he didn't even really know what to say because anything he would say would put him in question. He didn't want to se the disappointment on Merlin's face that he had seen before. 

"I don't know what you want me to say," Eggsy told him, biting his bottom lip and looking down at the table.

"Is your mum okay?" 

Eggsy nodded his head, "She likes the new flat but she still stays out all hours, and there's nothing I can do about it."

"You're not responsible for your mother, Eggsy, she's a grown woman and as much as you feel like you need to help her you can only help someone as much as they want to be helped, do you understand me?" 

Eggsy nodded again and nibbled on his bottom lip before picking up his pint and taking a drink. "I've made a big mistake."

Merlin frowned momentarily, as though he was trying to figure out how to react before he nodded and gestured for Eggsy to continue speaking. It wouldn't do to lecture the boy before he even knew what had been done so wrong.

"I decided I needed to make a little extra dosh, other than the job you got me."

"Eggsy if you've been peddling drugs again, I swear to God," Merlin growled at him, his eyes hard with disappointment.

"I'm not selling drugs, I promise," Eggsy told him, shaking his head. "I'm selling something else."

Merlin stared at him long and hard for a moment, trying to figure out what he meant and hoping that his initial presumptions were incorrect.

"You're not serious," he said softly. "Please tell me you are not selling yourself on the streets."

"Well not really on the streets, mainly online," Eggsy responded, hoping to make it sound better, hoping to make himself seem less cheap.

"And that is supposed to make me feel better?" Merlin asked him, almost baffled by Eggsy's reasoning. "This is going to stop, I am going to find you another job and you're never to sell your body again."

Eggsy nodded his head slowly, knowing that now would not be the time to argue with Merlin as the man did have quite a temper and it was not one he wanted to cross at the moment. He was still feeling far too tired and if he was honest a little bit sore from the night before. 

"I've never been so glad to be accused of being a drug dealer before, just think of the trouble you might've gotten yourself into if your friends hadn't contacted me in the first place."

Eggsy nodded again, and gestured to Merlin's drink, smiling almost cheekily as he grabbed their glasses and went to get a refill. He could only hope this would be the last time he would put that look on the man's face. 

He could only hope.


	6. Chapter Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eggsy goes to a party and meets a girl.

“God, mate, I don’t want to be dragged to this party just because you’re feeling a little bit bored,” Eggsy told Jamal, sighing softly he shook his head.

Jamal groaned, “You’ve gotten so boring Eggsy ever since that geezer helped you,” he commented.

Eggsy froze for a moment almost regretting that he’d ever told Jamal about the man who had worked with his father. “Look, Jamal you can’t go telling people about him okay? I don’t want him to get in trouble.”

Jamal clapped him on the shoulder and squeezed. “You know I ain’t gonna give you up to anyone, son, you should get to trusting me more.”

“I do but that doesn’t mean I wanna go to any damn party,” Eggsy responded, shaking his head.

“C’mon mate, look I promise you, we go to the party and if you’re not enjoying yourself I promise we can leave but who knows maybe you’ll meet some lucky guy or girl,” Jamal winked at him and then nudged him making him laugh. “There’s our Eggsy boy.”

“Fine but I’ll need to change,” Eggsy muttered making his way for the bedroom.

***

“What did you say your name was again?” Eggsy asked her, loving the way her eyes lit up when he focused his attention on her he wondered if that made him a terrible human being.

“My name is Serena,” she answered with a little bit of a giggle, leaning forward she rested her hand on his arm and smiled up at him.

She was his whole world in that moment, and she was beautiful. Her hair was almost glistening it was so blond, and her lips were…well they were tempting but he didn’t want to rush the moment.

Eggsy Unwin, romantic at heart.

“What are you even doing in this part of town? You don’t exactly look the type,” Eggsy commented, allowing his body to sway into hers as someone bumped into him from behind and he grinned.

“Oh you know, a couple of friends are from this area and they wanted me to come check it out, I’ve never been here, it’s definitely not boring,” Serena responded, her lips smelling like strawberries.

“Oh? Well good to know this lot isn’t too boring for you, though you seem like you could captivate a room yourself, “Eggsy complimented her, meaning it. “You captivated me after all, and I can be a bit out of focus, ya get me?”

Serena laughed softly, “Are you hard to keep the attention of then?” She teased him.

He liked this, it felt almost honest, the two of them flirting but being completely honest with each other and knowing that there was no way they would be able to work together but he felt like she was willing to try.

“I can be, I’m a bit rough around the edges you see but a big softy under it all,” Eggsy responded. “Be busy keeping my act up and then I saw you and I just couldn’t help myself.”

“You couldn’t help yourself in what way?” Serena asked, leaning in a little bit closer her lips were very nearly pressed against his and her body was close enough for him to smell her perfume.

“I couldn’t help but coming over to talk to you, I needed to say hello and find out your name,” Eggsy told her, chuckling softly.

“And now that you have my name what do you want from me?” Serena asked him boldly.

She wasn’t usually bold though and he could tell that just by looking at her. She was rich yes, but it was entirely possible that she was neglected by her parents which he’d learned in life so many of them were.

She probably also was here just to piss off her parents, which he certainly didn’t mind helping her with.

“Oh, just this,” Eggsy responded, leaning in to kiss her softly on the lips he closed his eyes and made a soft noise when she pressed her body fully against his and wrapped his arms around her.

Serene felt like heaven against him and so far from what he had with the men who frequented him for use.

She was soft when they were hard and she yielded to him, allowing him to have control.

He slid his hands down and gripped her hips, grinning when a small whimper left her lips.

“Are you one of those posh girls who like a bit of rough?” He asked her, barely parting from her.

He wasn’t expecting her to jerk back and start laughing, almost knocking his cap off in the first place he couldn’t deny that his face turned bright red.

Now she was laughing. Great. He turned away to walk away and stopped when she grabbed his arm.

“Wait, wait i’m sorry,” She apologized, leaning up to kiss his cheek with a small smile. “I was just wondering, does that line ever actually work?” She asked him.

Eggsy laughed a little bit with her, understanding that she wasn’t necessarily laughing at him so much as she was laughing at the line he had given her.

“It’s okay, it was cheese,” Eggsy nodded.

“What is your name?” Serena asked.

“Well, it’s Gary but no one calls me that, everyone calls me Eggsy,” He explained, keeping her close to him with one arm around her waist.

“Eggsy? That’s neat,” Serena commented, kissing his cheek she swayed into him and this time he could smell the alcohol on her breath. “Where did you get that name from?” she asked, seeming genuinely curious.

“My dad,” Eggsy responded extracting her from him slowly. “You seem like you’re getting tired, would you like me to help you get home?” He amended his request quickly, not wanting her to think that he was trying to take advantage or that he would going to hurt her.

“I could get you a cab.”

Serena nodded her head and smiled toothily at him. She had a rather large gap between her teeth. He found it a little bit charming. “Only if you give me your phone number first.”

Eggsy laughed and nodded his head, taking her phone when it was offered to him he punched in the number Merlin had given to him now that he was authorized to use it for personal things. “Here you are.”

“Thank you Eggsy.”

He kept his arm around his waist as they walked toward thefront of the house, making sure she didn’t stumble and fall.

His mother would be so bloody proud of him.

His friends would be ashamed to know him. Or at the very least they might admit to not knowing him.

He was pulled out of his thoughts when she swiped the hat from his head and popped it onto her own.

“Hey there,” Eggsy protested, reaching out to take it he laughed when she danced away from him, still gripping his hand and spun her back in. “That’s my hat,” he told her, unable to believe how beautiful she looked.

Her eyes were open wide and her mouth formed a soft “oh” as she received her second proper kiss of the night.

He never claimed he wouldn’t want to snog the girl, especially one with enough function to dance like she was against him.

“It’s my hat now, Eggsy Unwin, until you take me out on her first date.”

“Oi, I’m from the estates, how am I supposed to afford a date with a girl like you?” Eggsy asked her, with a soft, almost bitter chuckle.

“What? You can’t afford to pop down to the pub for a pint or to the chippie for an order of fish and chips?” Serena asked as the cab pulled up pretty quickly and he flagged it down for her.

“Well I guess I could afford that, but don’t tell anyone or they’ll be expecting more of the same,” He warned her in a playful mood.

Serena nodded and dropped a searing kiss on his lips before she slid into the cab.

Eggsy grinned to himself, unable to believe he’d just met his dream girl at a party he hadn’t even wanted to go to in the first place.

“Oh I see you there boyo, I saw you with that bird,” Jamal called from the porch causing him to laugh. “You better be thanking me when you get married,” he whistled.

“Shut up you idiot,” Eggsy shoved him, “Let’s go get pissed yeah, then maybe I can call Merlin and make him go non-verbal.”

“Weird,” Jamal chuckled but followed him inside.


	7. Chapter Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The time between meeting and finally leaving is sometimes called falling in love.

"Now don't you look handsome," Serena commented as she stepped out of the cab to stand in front of him, a smile on her face. "I couldn't be sure that you would you know, beer goggles and all that." 

Eggsy smiled at her, hoping he seemed charming and not nervous as well. She looked pretty good herself, and he hadn't even really been drinking at the party. "Good to see you," he leaned in and kissed her on the cheek feeling almost shy about it. It had been a while since he'd been out with someone and even longer since he'd been out with someone who wasn't paying him to be there. 

"It's good to see you too, Eggsy," Serena kissed him back on the cheek. "So where are we off to?"

"The chippie, I believe you asked for," Eggsy responded to her, pretending to bow as he offered her his arm. 

Serena giggled and nodded her head, "You're right, I did, and that sounds like just what I need."

***

"So where do you live?" Serena asked him as she sucked some ketchup off her thumb, the two of them on a blanket in the park. 

"Well I used to live in the estates, and now I live in another part of London, in a flat with my mum, she and I lost my dad when I was a boy, and her second husband wasn't so great, so we take care of each other," Eggsy responded, taking a bite of his fish, in wonder at a girl dressed like her who was willing to hunker down in the park and get her fingers all greasy and messy eating a good order of fish and chips. 

Serena smiled at him, "They always say you can trust a boy who takes such good care of his mum."

"Is it?" Eggsy winked at her, pretending to be sly and grinned when she laughed at him. 

"Well that's what they say, whoever they are, can I trust you Eggsy? Are you a good man?" Serena asked him, looking into his eyes. 

Eggsy swallowed, remembering the body of the man he'd killed, and the desperation he'd felt in the moments leading to Kevin's death. 

"I try to be the best man that I can be," he responded, hardly able to keep eye contact with her as he did so. 

Serena leaned in and brushed her lips gently across his. "I think you're a good man, Eggsy Unwin, because anyone who wasn't would just tell me that they were a good man, and they wouldn't stop to think about it." 

Eggsy cupped her cheek, his thumb ghosting along her skin he pulled her into another kiss, gentling his touch when she made a soft noise, unused to how pliable she was in his grip.

"Thank you," he breathed when he pulled back, beaming at her.

Serena smiled back at him, her cheeks flushed and a lock of hair falling into her face.

Eggsy swept it away from her eyes and in that moment was sure that he was falling in love. 

***

“I love nights like this,” Serena told him as she lay on his bed flipping through one of the many books he had in his room.

“You do?” Eggsy asked her, sitting on the edge of the bed he reached back to squeeze her leg and smiled at her. “Why’s that?”

Serena put the book down next to the pillow and stared up at him, her blue eyes captivating him in a way that no one else had since he was in 6th form.

“Because we’re not going anywhere,” Serena commented, squeezing his hand.

“Hey now what’s that supposed to mean we’re not going anywhere? You know I might be joining the military because I want to get into being all educated and like,” Eggsy responded, frowning when she laughed at him.

At least she wasn’t mocking him, she very rarely seemed to.

“Not what I meant, Eggsy, you need to get that chip off your shoulder, luv,” Serena leaned up to kiss him softly on the lips and shook her head in amusement. “I mean tonight we’re not going anywhere and I like that. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind the restaurants, clubs and pubs but sometimes it’s nice for it to be just you and me. At home like it’s meant to be.”

“Like it’s mean to be, you mean you could see us living together one day?” Eggsy was incredulous.

He saw it too of course. The two of them together, having a quiet Friday night like they were right then.

The thought was enough to make his heart beat a little faster, if he was honest with himself.

It was also what scared him the most. If he joined the military he worried about her becoming like his mum, a woman lost without her husband because he’d been killed in service.

“I do,” Serena responded. “Can’t you just see it, the two of us living together? I would do our laundry on Sundays and we could sit around and read, or go out for brunch, and we could have your mum over for roasts every other week which I would almost burn and you would be able to fix because you’re magic like that. We could sleep in whenever we could, not wanting to leave each other’s arms and you could bring me breakfast in bed.”

“I’m sensing some sort of theme there,” Eggsy commented. “I am going to be the one cooking am I?”

Serena nodded and grinned at him, giggling when he tickled her lightly. “Yep, because I’m bad at it, you’ve seen me burn water.”

Eggsy lay down next to her and pulled her into his arms, resisting the urge to laugh when he realized she barely fit in them with both of them on the bed, cramped together as they were.

“To be fair, I was distracting you just a little bit when you were trying to boil that spaghetti, it was a good effort on your part though and I liked it,” he kissed her forehead then kissed her softly on the lips.

“It’s true, maybe you should work on distracting me again.”

“Oh is that so, are you getting bored?” Eggsy asked as he kissed and then suckled lightly on the spot beneath her earlobe.

The sound she made was bliss, and the sounds he could draw from her were his nirvana. He grinned up at her before sliding down the bed and shoving the t-shirt she was wearing of his up her thighs, a wicked look on his face.

“Eggsy what are you…” Her voice cut off and she moaned softly.

That was more like it.


	8. Chapter Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eggsy learns the truth about his girlfriend. Merlin approves despite his own concern.

"Are you absolutely sure about this Eggsy?” Merlin asked him, as he sat in the man’s living room perched on his sofa. He swirled his drink and considered Eggsy.

“I’m more sure about this than I’ve ever been sure of anything, Merlin, she’s fantastic, I mean god you should see her, the way she looks, the way she smells,” Eggsy murmured almost gushing as he sipped his drink and smiled a little bit.

“I think it would be rather weird of me to go around sniffing your girlfriend, lad, but I’m glad she makes you happy, have you met her parents yet?” Merlin asked him, sitting down in the armchair.

“Yeah,” Eggsy winced and shook his head, “That didn’t really go too well, they kept asking her if she was sure about me, if she wanted to spend so much time with someone like me and how she thought we could be together but it was almost like they weren’t saying something if that makes any sense at all.”

“What do you mean?” Merlin asked, curious about what the boy might’ve come up with.

“Oh you know, they would be in mid sentence and then they would cut themselves off and I just found myself trying to fill in the blankets a little bit,” Eggsy told him frowning a little bit. “They didn’t seem to exactly have a problem directly with me though my background was obviously something they didn’t like but I don’t think I’ll find anyone to date that will be happy about my background is all.”

Merlin nodded his head. “What kind of things did they say?”

“Well they would say things like, “Have you considered your…” And then it would just end all abrupt like,” Eggsy explained.

“Her what? Future? Education?” Merlin pondered aloud, taking a look at him.

“I don’t know, she seems to be doing really well in school even though I don’t really understand a word that she’s saying half the time,” Eggsy grinned to himself.

“Oh I know that look and I know it well, you’re a lost cause son,” Merlin shook his head then opened his mouth to apologize for using the term of endearment.

“It’s okay, really,” Eggsy waved a hand. “I want to move in with her, she's the type of girl I could imagine having a future with.”

“Well, far be it from me to stand in your way,” Merlin smiled at him, feeling a little proud and a little worried. On one hand he had been wanting Eggsy to be a little bit more outgoing about things but he worried about her parents and the effect they could have on any future relationship building between the two. “I wish you the best in your future and I do not move furniture, no matter how much you might want me to.”

***

“Well, well, this is a new look for you,” Serena giggled as she walked around him, taking al look at the suit and how well tailored it was to his body she made a soft appreciative noise, jokingly tugging on his tie when she came around front. “Did your uncle do this for you?”

Eggsy shot her a grin and whistled through his teeth as he looked at the dress she was wearing and how nicely it hugged her curvaceous form. “Yeah he did, I’d rather say he did it to me than for me, said every gentleman needs a suit or summat and insisted on buying this for me himself, I even had to get measurements taken and everything.”

“Well he’s not wrong and I can’t exactly fault him for it because you look so good I’m tempted to not go out at all,” Serena kissed the corner of his mouth and snuggled into his arms when he wrapped them around her.

That was one of the things he absolutely loved about her, the fact that she remained so close to him when he was near, as though she was trying to steal his warmth from him or couldn’t bare to be separate from him.

“Thank you, and you look ravishing luv, maybe we should just stay here,” Eggsy joked, pretending to crowd her back into the dorm she shared with one of her best friends.

“You’re welcome,” Serena told him, and giggled wrapping her arms around his neck she leaned in and kissed him sweetly on the lips. “You’ve been crowing about this for days,” she told him, “for months actually.”

Eggsy nodded his head, “That’s true, let’s go then.” He whisked her to the car he’d rented with Merlin’s help and opened the door for her. It was off to dinner and then a walk in the park for them.

“This has been an amazing night,” Serena told him, as they walked arm and arm around the park, staring up at the shimmer lights. “This is just…brilliant, did you tell them to light up the park like this?” She teased him.

“Oh yes, because I have that much power,” Eggsy shook his head, drawing her over to the bench he gestured for her to take a seat. “It’s for some art installation or something, apparently the finished product will be ugly as fuck but this is nice, or so I thought. I’m glad you like it.” He fished in his pocket and pulled out a key-chain, offering it to her.

Serena took the key-chain with a curious look on her face, glancing up at him. “What’s this for?”

“Well it’s for this,” Eggsy pulled out a key and handed it to her. “To my flat.”

“With your mum, that’s a bit odd, Eggsy.”

“No, my flat, with my money, no mum there,” Eggsy explained. “I was hoping it would be our flat." 

Serena gaped at him, wide eyed. “Are you serious?”

Eggsy nodded his head, smiling brightly at her he laughed when she threw herself at him and he wrapped his arms around her quite happily. “Is that a yes?”

“Of course it’s a yes, you idiot.”

“Oh god, I can’t wait to tell my mum and my uncle,” Eggsy told her with a soft laugh.

***

"Please Serena, I worry about you," Eggsy murmured to her. They had been living with each other for two weeks and it had been quite the whirlwind that he wasn't sure how to deal with.

She'd hidden things from him yes, probably scared that he would run from her but he wasn't that type of man and he never would be. He wished she would understand that. 

"I'm just tired, Eggsy," she murmured back, rolled up in the blankets so tightly he couldn't even hope to get her free. "I'm just really tired okay," she murmured as she opened her eyes and looked him in the eye. "I'll fill my prescription tomorrow and I'll be fine again, I promise."

Eggsy stroked her hair and pressed a kiss to her forehead, trying to ignore how dead her eyes looked, trying to ignore that none of the normal sparkle was there. 

"I have to go to work, and I don't want to leave you here, are you sure you don't want me to call in sick? Because I can."

Serena shook her head, "Don't do that on account of me, I'll probably just pull something up on Netflix and get to watching, I don't want you to miss work because I'm being silly."

Eggsy nodded his head slowly, knowing she wasn't just being silly. He knew that there was something more to this and he was beginning to suspect that it hadn't been him her parents disapproved of, but her moving away from home where they wouldn't be able to take care of her.


	9. Chapter Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eggsy enlists, and things get worse before they get well...worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: Mental illness, suicidal mentions, mentions of non-medical abortion

“I think I’m going to enlist,” Eggsy blurted out to Merlin as soon as he walked in the door, freezing when the man just stopped and looked at him, his eyes gone cold.

“No, you can’t,” Merlin insisted, shaking his head. “Absolutely not.”

“Why not? My father was in, you said he saved someone’s life, I want to help save someone’s life, I want to be…I just want to be something more than what I am,” Eggsy responded, resisting the urge to snap at him.

“There’s nothing wrong with who you are Eggsy, who has been putting that notion in your head it’s bloody ridiculous,” Merlin responded. “Is this to do with that girl you’re living with?”

“That girl? That girl, Merlin you’ve got to be fucking kidding me, she is the woman I plan on marrying one day,” Eggsy replied. “I am so sick of you and mum discounting her like she’s nothing. She is something. She is everything to me.”

Merlin wanted to fight back, to point out that Eggsy had called him in the midle of the night just the week before near tears because he hadn’t been able to get her out of the bathroom as she sobbed and cried. It wasn’t that he didn’t feel for her, and her illness but he felt more for Eggsy, more protective of Eggsy and did not want him to get stuck in some sort of downward spiral he might not return from.

“I am sorry, Eggsy I shouldn’t have lashed out on you like that I’ve had a rather trying day,” Merlin explained softly. “My boss is not exactly a kind man.”

Eggsy nodded, accepting the apology without a second thought. “The military will help me pay for my education and then I can do better in life and I can provide more, not only for Serena but for my mum and myself. I want to have children one day and I don’t want them to hear stories about how their father was a drug runner or a murderer. I want them to be proud of me.”

“I think that anyone would be proud to have you as a father, Eggsy,” Merlin said softly. “Even in the two years I’ve known you you have grown to amazing heights, there were a few rough steps yes, but everyone has those and no one needs to know about them. I’ve made sure that no one will ever find out about them.”

Eggsy looked at him, shock on his face. “I know…” He recovered quickly and ran his fingers through his hair. “I know that, that you’ve hidden my tracks and taken care of me for two years. I know you’re truly family to me, Merlin, but this is my third call, I’m calling in the favour you owe me and I want you to help me get ready for the military.”

Merlin opened his mouth to protest once again and sighed, seeing the determination in Eggsy’s eyes he nodded his head. “I’ll help you get in.”

He would be damned if he would allow this to be the third call, or even the second call.

And if Eggsy got hurt, well there would be hell to pay that much was certain. He would make sure of it. 

***

“Hello? Serena?” Eggsy murmured into the phone trying to figure out what it was that could’ve possessed her to call him when he heard a sob on the other line. “Oh god, Serena what is it?”

“You need to come home,” Serena told him.

Eggsy huffed out a sigh, unable to figure out if this was just one of her moments or if she was genuinely hurt.

“You know I can’t come home, I’m in the middle of basic, I shouldn’t even be taking this phone call but I was told you were upset or hurt.”

“I am upset, Eggsy, you’re not here.”

“Sere, I promise I’ll be home as soon as I can.”

“No you don’t understand, Eggsy, I’m pregnant. You need to come home or I’m going to deal with it myself.” She slammed the phone down.

Eggsy ran a hand over his face, feeling weak in the knees. “Oh god.” He pushed down on the receiver and dialed the next number almost frantically.

“Hello, how may I help you?”

“Oxfords not brogues,” He said quickly.

“One moment please.”

“Eggsy, what is it lad? Has something happened? Have you gotten yourself shot or something?” Merlin asked him, his voice filled with worry, and an almost frantic energy but yet he was instantly calmed.

“She’s pregnant.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake, Eggsy, honestly, did you learn nothing about protection in school,” Merlin chastised him.

“Of course I did, I’m not a fucking idiot Merlin, but I think she might be planning something, you know how she’s been since her parents went off the deep end. I need you to help me, I need to get out of here.”

“You told me military was what you wanted,” Merlin told him, his voice firm. “You can’t just go back, you understand?”

“And I can’t let her do this alone, I can’t let her hurt him or her. She’ll hate herself forever, Merlin, you need to help me get out of here.”

Merlin sighed and for a moment Eggsy’s heart skipped a beat and he wondered if this would be the last time the man would be willing to help him and hoped against all hope that that would not be the case.

“I’ll get you out of there, but if I do you’re not going back in, do you understand me?” There was a thread of steel in his voice.

“I understand,” Eggsy whispered.

“Pack your bags then, you’ll be coming home soon.”

Eggsy slumped against the wall, unable to help the relief he felt. He hadn’t liked being so far away from Serena or his mom, worried for the both of them.

***

"I'm going home, lads," Eggsy announced as he walked into the tent he shared with some of the other enlisted men. 

"What? You must be joking," Brent told him, shaking his head in disbelief. "You've been out in the sun too long, mate, there's no way they'd give a little shit like you leave. Even if there was something wrong with you."

"What is it?" Nathan asked him, always so quick to pick up on anything wrong. They'd all teased him about his burgeoning psychology degree and what exactly it was he could do with it and where he could stick it as he spent most of his time analyzing them, though he was still a good guy to have around.

"It's Serena," Eggsy said softly, and was awash in silence. They knew about him, they knew about how hard the relationship between he and Serena had been. 

"Oh god, she didn't," Brent murmured, meeting Eggsy's eyes with trepidition. "Please tell me she didn't top herself," he said softly.

"No, she's pregnant, but she threatened to...she's not well, so I've got to go home, take care of her, ya get me?" Eggsy asked them. 

Nathan stood up first, and moved toward Eggsy's bunk. "I'll help you pack, we all will," he said quickly. "But you keep writing to us and let us know how things are going? And we want pictures of your little one when she's born alright or we'll go AWOL and come looking for you." 

Eggsy watched his friends gather his thing for him, and accepted the hugs he was given before he was driven to a train station to return home. It felt like he was getting further and further away from who he wanted to be. He just hoped his future would be brighter than what he'd already seen. 

***

 

"I can't believe she's pregnant," Eggsy repeated for about the dozenth time as he sat in the passenger seat of Merlin's car, staring wide eyed out the window at the mere thought of having a child and the opportunity of being a father. 

"I can't either, lad, you two were using protection weren't you?" Merlin asked him, his tone level but with the slight edge of disappointment.

Eggsy turned to look at him, and anger burned its way through him, ugly and harsh and a villain of its own. "Of course we did, I'm not a fucking idiot despite what you might be thinking about me, bruv, and I don't need your judgment. I thought we was done with that."

"We were," Merlin responded, rubbing his forehead he let out a soft sigh. "I apologize, that was untoward of me. I've been quite busy with work and it has made me tense." He didn't reveal that he suspected his boss of treason, he couldn't bear to say the words aloud.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" Eggsy asked him, frowning slightly he took a good look at Merlin and concern rushed through him.

He looked exhausted, and unfed, and if he'd had hair Eggsy suspected it would be quite messy but there was a gauntness to him, and circles under his eyes. 

"Merlin, you're not sick are you?" Fear spiked along his bloodstream, raising the hair on the back of his neck. "You'd tell me if you were, wouldn't you?" 

"I would lad, and I'm not sick so don't you worry," Merlin told him as he turned a corner. "I can't have you at my flat for a little bit alright? I've got a friend staying with me, and he's injured. I don't want him to...lash out, as it were." 

Eggsy nodded his head and managed a smile. "Okay, I won't, I'll call you though, to make sure you're okay."

Merlin nodded his head, and smiled over at him. "I appreciate that, Eggsy, but I can take care of myself. You can call me to chat though, I do appreciate our conversations quite a lot. I hope you know." 

"I'd hoped you did," Eggsy replied honestly. He couldn't figure out where he would've ended up if it hadn't been for Merlin's support of him.


	10. Chapter Nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things fall apart a little more and Eggsy stands strong.

“What do you mean you’re leaving? You can’t just fucking leave, Sere, you’re pregnant with my baby,” Eggsy resisted the urge to throw something.

He wouldn’t succumb to that urge, the urge to react to a woman the way his stepfather had, the urge to hurt someone weaker than him just because they pissed him off. He however couldn’t help but yell because this was getting to the point of being ridiculous.

“I know that Eggsy, don’t you think I know that, I’ve been puking for four months, and I’ve gotten as big as a whale and you won’t even touch me anymore.”

“You won’t let me touch you, don’t put that on me, I love you Serena, I don’t know why…I don’t understand what more I could possibly do to make you happy.”

“Well you wouldn’t know, would you, you’re just some boy from the counsel estates who I should’ve known better than to get involved with.”

Eggsy turned around, running his fingers through his hair he tugged lightly unable to believe she had just said that to him and hardly able to believe how much it hurt.

“Are you going to keep her from me?” The words burst out of his mouth and he cringed at how desperate they sounded.

“My parents said they would only take me back if I didn’t keep her.”

“Serena, no, you can’t just give up our baby girl, she’s mine too, you can’t do this you have to promise me. I’ll take her, I can take care of her. You take care of you and I’ll get you money for bills. I’ll stay away from her just please don’t do this, don’t give her away. You know how important family is to me.”

Serena frowned, then nodded slowly, looking so lost that he couldn’t help but wonder if he was responsible for this.

If he should have just passed her up at the party. If he should’ve just walked on by without looking at her.

It wasn’t like no one had warned him, that she was not who she appeared to be, that she was sick.

But Eggsy was sick in a way too, he needed to be able to take care of people. He had hoped to be able to take care of her.It was a compulsive issue for him. He’d even caught himself doing it to Merlin a couple of times until the older man had chastised him for it, albeit gently and sent him on his way.

“Thank you, thank you so much. What do you need? What do you need from me right now?”

Serena appeared to be near tears as she clenched her jaw and looked away from him, her next words barely a whisper.

“I need you to leave, before I go.”

“But Serena.”

“Just go, Eggsy. I’ll call you.”

***

“She left, she left and she is taking all of her stuff out of our flat right now and when I get back there I will be alone,” Eggsy murmured, standing on the doorstep to Merlin’s house with his shoulders drooped. “You can say I told you so.”

“If I haven’t said it once in all these years, Eggsy, what exactly makes you think I’m going to say it now? The only person I kick when I’m down is my best friend.”

Eggsy managed a small smile. “I thought I was your best friend.”

“In some ways yes, I daresay you have become my best friend but in others you’re like a son,” Merlin told him, gesturing for him to come in out of the rain.

“A son?” Eggsy was stunned a little bit. “I’d hope you would’ve wished for something better than me for some poor woman to give birth to.”

“No, I don’t think I could ask for anything better actually,” Merlin got him seated on the couch and grabbed the tablet he seemed to always have on him.

Eggsy had tried to take a sneak once, but had had his hand slapped away in the process. It didn’t stop him from leaning over, and making a soft noise when Merlin’s hand connected with a skull.

“What’re you doing? Am I interrupting your work?” Eggsy asked him. “I didn’t mean to, I just couldn’t be there while she packed her stuff up and she asked me to leave. I figure it’s the least I could do for her, since I got her in this mess.”

“Oh yes, how dare you fall in love with a girl, treat her like a queen, provide a home for her to live in and food on the table for both her and her unborn child,” Merlin responded drolly. “What has she said she is going to do with your little flower?”

“She says she’ll leave her for me, but I don’t know if she actually will, she’s gotten so much worse since she’s been pregnant with the doctors telling her she’s not allowed to be on certain medications I just don’t know what to do Merlin but I know I can’t trust her, not now not when she’s like this,” Eggsy responded.

“Very well, it’s time for me to put my legal expertise to good use then, isn’t it lad? I’ll make up a contract which will need to be notarized and signed which will afford you full parental rights, she will need to sign it and someone will be able to witness it, might be best if it’s one of your friends,” Merlin told him as his fingers started tapping on the small keyboard he connected to his tablet.

“You’re a ledge, Merlin, really, I’ve lost count of how many times you’ve really saved me now, but I should give that medal back to you now, I think we’ve hit the three count,” Eggsy told him.

“We’ve only hit two, I could the second time to be about the same as the first, you get one more phone call Eggsy so I suggest you use it wisely.”

“Have you ever actually seen Aladdin, Merlin? The genie in that has hair, how did you lose yours? Was it from dealing with people like me?”

“It was dealing with people exactly like you, yes, and stop calling me a genie.”

“Alright but only cause you’re doing me a favour right now, I reserve the right to continue calling you a genie in the future. By the way have I told you how creepy it is you keep referring to my baby girl as “my little flower”? Bloody creepy that is. Just plain weird.”

“You’re the one who told me you wanted to name her Daisy, it’s hardly my fault I came up with something different. I am a genius after all.”

“What’s that, Merlin, did you just say you were a genie?”

“Oh for fuck’s sake.” 

***

Eggsy looked around the flat he'd shared with his mum when he'd been doing less than savoury work and shifted from foot to foot, wondering how he would explain to her the direction that his life had taken.

"So you didn't finish," Michelle commented softly. "Basic training, you didn't finish."

"No I didn't, I had to come home, there was some...problems," Eggsy responded softly. "I know I upset you by goin', I know I did but I needed to do something for myself, to do something about where I was headed and now I'm back on track."

"And that girl? Does she have something to do with this."

"Her name is Serena, you know her name, mum, and I love her but we're not together anymore," Eggsy replied, huffing out a soft sigh he hadn't even really wanted to have this conversation with her, but it looked like it was going to be unavoidable. 

"Oh, dear heart, what happened? She didn't cheat on you, I always told you to stay away from those rich girls, Eggsy, they're nothing but trouble."

"I can't do this with you, mum, she didn't cheat on me, she probably still loves me but she's not well, and so we broke up and she went home to her family." 

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that, I hope it's not..."

"She's also pregnant, the baby is mine and I'll be taking care of her since Serena...isn't well." 

"A child?" Michelle said, sinking down into the chair. 

"Yes, a baby girl, Daisy," Eggsy said softly, sitting down across from her he looked her in the eye, wanting to see how she would react to this. If it would be with anger, or pity, or something he wouldn't begin to understand. 

"Oh my...Eggsy are you certain?" 

"I am mum, I'm going to take care of her," He jerked his chin out, and looked her in the eye. He would not give up his daughter, no matter what she asked of him.

"Well, I guess I best get shopping then, for my grandbaby," Michelle told him.


	11. Chapter Ten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eggsy's little petal is born, but not without a cost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: Character death

Eggsy stood in the hallway of the hospital, feeling completely and utterly lost. He didn’t know what to do, or what to say to the nurse, his lip split and his eye blackening.

“It’s not my fault,” he finally managed to rasp.

“Oh luv, I know it’s not your fault,” she murmured. “Do you want me to call your dad for you?”

“Don’t have a dad, he died when I was 7,” Eggsy responded, sinking down into a chair he looked down at his hands which were shaking. “Can you call Merlin? His name is in my phone.”

“Of course, luv, I will for you,” she took his phone from him and scrolled through the contacts, pressing it against her ear. “Hello, is this…Merlin? I’m a nurse at St. Thomas’ hospital, Mr Unwin is fine, but Miss. Alger I fear is not. He asked me to call you on his behalf.”

Eggsy zoned out, not even listening to whatever it was she was saying until she touched his shoulder and returned his phone to him. “Thank you,” he cleared his throat. “When can I see her?”

“Serena? Her parents said…”

“Not Serena, when can I see Daisy?” 

The nurse smiled, “Well let’s get you cleaned up and I’ll take you to her right away.”

Eggsy made his way to his feet and followed her.

***

She was beautiful, his daughter was everything he could have hoped for and more and in that moment he knew that he would do absolutely anything if it meant that he could make her future as bright as he hoped it could be.

“Good job, lad,” Merlin’s voice came from just over his shoulder.

Eggsy turned to look at him, and his breath caught in his throat. “Merlin.”

“Steady there,” Merlin grasped both of his shoulders, looking him in the eye for a moment before he drew him in close and wrapped his arms around him.

Eggsy’s face crumpled and he couldn’t help the gasping cry that left him as he began sobbing into Merlin’s shoulder. “She’s gone.”

Merlin rubbed his back in a circular motion and finally seemed to settle for holding him close, and firmly. “It’s okay, you’ve got me, you’ve got your mum and your darling little flower.”

Eggsy nodded his head and pulled back, swiping at his cheek about fifteen minutes later he took in deep breaths to calm himself. “Isn’t she gorgeous?” He gestured to the window. “They let me hold her for a little while, but she’s a bit small.”

Merlin nodded. “She’ll have the best care, don’t worry. I’ll make sure of it.”

“Does this count as my third call then?” Eggsy asked him, laughing softly.

“No, no it doesn’t lad, you didn’t call the right number after all.”

“Do you really think that I can do this? That I can take care of her all by myself?” Eggsy asked the man who he had come to see as family.

“Not by yourself lad, it might be time to call your mother though, I hear she’s doing well, and missing you,” Merlin commented softly. “But I’ll be here to help and I imagine so will she.”

“Thank you, Merlin,” Eggsy told him, touching the glass lightly he knew in his heart that it was time to invite his mother back into his life, even if it made him nervous.

***

“This isn’t something I admit I thought I would see,” Merlin commented as he stood next to Eggsy who was trying to get Daisy to stop crying while a nurse stood nearby, having assured him that he would be able to learn quite quickly.

“I don’t know if I thought I would either, bruv, why won’t she stop crying?” Eggsy fretted, rubbing her back gently.

“Rub a little bit harder lad, and adjust the position of your hands,” Merlin demonstrated, smiling when Eggsy followed and Daisy slowly began to stop her fussing. “You should’ve taken your shirt off.”

“Excuse me? I don’t think I have what she’s lookin’ for under there, Merlin,” Eggsy responded. 

“Skin to skin contact is important for babies, it doesn’t really matter if the person holding them is male or female.” 

Eggsy shifted around and smiled up at him as he tugged the shirt he was wearing down a little bit and held her close. 

“How do you know this sort of stuff?” 

Merlin smiled the slightest bit, his demeanor changing slightly. “I had a bairn of my own,” he responded. “A son.” 

“You had? He’s not…” 

Merlin laughed softly, shaking his head. “No, he’s still with us, with me, I should say his mother is not.”

“I’m sorry, bruv,” Eggsy told him, frowning a little bit. 

Merlin shook his head, “It’s fine, it was over 30 years ago now, we’re…a bit better off.”

Eggsy looked down at Daisy, wondering if he would ever say the same thing concerning her and Serena. It was a shame, he decided, that Daisy would never know the best parts of her mother. 

“I only hope I can be enough,” he said softly, consideringly as he stared down at his daughter. 

“I think you’ll find that you’ll feel like no matter what you do it will never be enough because there is always something new in the world, new in her world, but in the end she’ll be grateful for how much you’ve done for her already,” Merlin touched his shoulder and squeezed lightly. ”She is a beautiful girl, lad, you’ve done well.” 

“I think I’m glad you came into my life, Merlin,” Eggsy told him, reaching up to grasp his wrist gently, just for a moment before he let him go.

Merlin smiled down at him and squeezed his shoulder again before he let him go. “I’m pretty glad I came into your life as well, Eggsy Unwin, and might I have the pleasure of saying that your father would be quite proud of you.”

Eggsy didn’t respond. He couldn’t have, the lump in his throat was threatening to choke him, and if he didn’t look up at Merlin right then it was only because his eyes were blurring for some strange reason he couldn’t begin to explain.

***

"Merlin's just told me," Michelle's voice came from down the pew, and she hesitated there, her hand clenching against the wood. "I'm sorry."

Eggy nodded his head, tears sliding down his cheeks as he leaned forward, his back bowing and his whole body shaking. "She's gone, she's gone and I loved her."

Michelle made a soft noise and slid over to her son, wrapping him in her arms she closed her eyes, tears on her own cheeks as the sounds of her son's anguish reached her ears. 

"You'll be okay, my boy, my sweet, darling boy," she murmured, almost crooning into his ear she just wanted to heal him, to make it so that he would never experience something like this again but they'd both learned, at ages far too young, that heartbreak and humanity went hand in hand. 

"I don't know, I don't know how to do this," Eggsy wept, his eyes shut tightly against the tears as he imagined having to tell Daisy about her mother without her ever actually getting the chance to meet Serena.

It was heartbreaking and he hated every single thought of it. He couldn't do it, he didn't want her to end up like he had, in want of love and searching for something she couldn't possibly begin to attain. 

***

"Oh my word, you little flower you," Michelle murmured, stroking her granddaughter's cheek gently with oe hand she looked up at Eggsy with a beaming smile and tears in her eyes. "She's so beautiful."

Eggsy beamed back, having managed to get a good night's sleep he agreed wholeheartedly about his daughter's beauty. "She is, isn't she?"

"Looks just like you did as a wee one," Michelle told him, shaking her head in amazement. "Here's hoping she's a better baby than you were though."

"Eh? What you on about?" Eggsy asked her, glancing over at Merlin in the doorway with a smile.

"If I recall correctly, from your father's stories, you damn near caused chaos everywhere you went," Merlin told him, his tone filled with nothing but affection. 

"So things've not changed then," Eggsy wiggled his eyebrows and shot Merlin a wink, smiling when his mother laughed.

"Not much," Michelle agreed, "Your father would be so proud of you."

Eggsy breathed in deeply, the rush of emotion almost painful at her words. "Thank you, mum, thank you." He kissed her cheek.

They would never be perfect, the two of them, but he could see now that she'd tried until she couldn't. He could even understand it, as he looked down at his daughter with the weight of the world threatening to crush his shoulders.


End file.
